Navigating Through The Finding Your Tribe Hype for Homeschool Moms

Navigating Through The Finding Your Tribe Hype for Homeschool Moms

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We have all heard about “Finding Your Tribe” everywhere we look! We read articles & blog posts, go to conferences and listen to speakers talk about it and listen to podcasts and periscopes all about the importance of Finding Your Tribe. But is it a lot of hype? What if you feel like you have tried but still don’t have a tribe? Let’s navigate through the Finding Your Tribe Hype!

Navigating Through The Finding Your Tribe Hype for Homeschool Moms

If you have felt like everyone is talking about Finding Your Tribe but you haven’t found yours yet, I need to tell you that is ok! I feel like all the hype makes those of us who struggle in the social department feel a bit negative in some ways. If you sincerely have made attempts to find this tribe they talk about and it isn’t coming naturally to you, please know you are not alone.

Not all of us make friends instantly, and some of us feel socially awkward when we are “trying to make friends.” Some of us may feel like we won’t ever have a tribe, we can’t find one or two friends more or less a tribe of people who we like, AND they like us back! I understand these feelings because I have been there too.

What Is a Tribe? Here is the true definition of the word:

tribe
[trฤซb]
Noun
  1. a social division in a traditional society consisting of families or communities linked by social, economic, religious, or blood ties, with a common culture and dialect, typically having a recognized leader.

We are looking for like-minded friends or a group of people that share common ties. Seems easy right? That’s easy for many women out there, but today I am speaking to those of us that it doesn’t come quickly or easily. The moms that showed up to a few playdates and nobody approached you, so you stopped going. The moms who feel like they can’t find anyone that they authentically connect with because your situation is so unique. Or the moms that struggle with getting out there and trying to “make friends” and “be social.” I have talked about this area before and the importance of modeling good social behavior in front of our kids. I wasn’t “taught” how to make friends, and I suffered as I went through some periods of my life because those are invaluable skills.


So what do you do if you can’t findย your tribe?

  • Stop Stressing Over the Hype! Your “tribe” can be 1, 2, or 3 wonderful women, period! It’s not necessary you immediately find, or have a large group of women you call friends. Wouldn’t you appreciate one wonderful friend over ten superficial friends?
  • Don’t count people out! As a homeschool group leader, I see moms quickly friend other moms with kids the same age, or the moms are the same age, or whatever similarity they find common ground over. But leave yourself open to the options of friending moms in various life stages, and we mentor each other or glean from one another. So often we overlook the unlikely friend, and those can sometimes be the exact person God is sending you!
  • Take Your Time! It takes me a long time to get to know someone or trust them in the sense that I consider them my close friend. We are each designed differently, it’s ok if you don’t connect with people after the 1st or 2nd meeting. My closest and most trusted friends are the ones that took the time to get to know me, even if that meant it was slow to develop our friendship. That makes me treasure them for taking the time.
  • Get out there! God designed us for community, and we do have a responsibility to model good social skills for our kiddos. So make yourself get out there, we need to make an effort to plug in, even if you start small.
  • Keep trying! As a homeschool group leader I witnessed so many moms show up to one playdate or event and if they didn’t make an immediate connection or their kids didn’t make instant friends they just never came back. It takes time for people to connect, there is hype in that this tribe will fall in your lap. Not so. For most of us, it requires some effort.
  • SMILE! Have you ever gone on a field trip or playdate and smiled at a fellow mom to not have her return the smile? Silly! A smile goes a long way moms, why wouldn’t we be friendly to one another? We can do better than that.
  • PRAY! This tip is my favorite and most important tip! I prayed and still do, on my way to any event that requires me to be social and interact with others. I am not a natural social butterfly. Honestly, I used to suffer from anxiety and would try to get out of events to avoid interacting. Then I began forcing myself to go, push past those fears and pray that God uses me as a tool. I pray that God sends me the right people to meet, and uses me in whatever way he can. I immediately started making connections, some small and some are my best friends to this day.

I pray for any of you moms that aren’t making solid connections rooted in Christ. We need these connections as much as our children do, we aren’t designed to do it all alone. I pray you can overcome your fears, anxieties, or whatever it is that is holding you back! I pray that God directs you to the right circles and lead the right people to you. He wants you to connect as much as you do! In Jesus Name, Amen.

 

 

Comments

  1. Lisa Ehrman

    Great post! I’ve also been hearing about “finding your tribe” so much lately. It does take time, especially for introverts like me. I’m sharing your great advice ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Great advice; you really did cut through all the hype! There are 5 or 6 other women at my church who homeschool, but we haven’t formed a cohesive group. This helped me to see that I really have found my tribe, and with some time and effort on my part, I can move from “acquaintances” to “friends”.

    1. You are so right Marisa, So glad you know your who your tribe is already!! Thanks for stopping by! I love that, acquaintances to friends!

  3. Wonderful advice! Homeschooling is hard enough with having to worry about another pressure. Your wisdom will certainly bless all who read this today

  4. Great post! It’s important if you are homeschooling, new mommy, or even pregnant to form a “tribe” of women that’s on the same path that can pray with you, support you ,build you up and laugh together !

    1. You are so right! There are so many “tribe” options, and as women we need them. Thanks so much for stopping by!

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