To All of the Homeschool Moms Who are Not Fitting In
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As homeschool moms, we have a responsibility to be social. You know, for our children’s sake. We may join a homeschool co-op, sign up for occasional field trips, and commit to events for our homeschoolers. Whatever event or commitment it is we choose, we have to keep showing up. Keep plugging in and be social.
For some of us, the “being social” part can cause anxiety. Social situations, in general, that may be fun for others can be unnerving for us. I know for some it’s hard to believe, but all of us are not social butterflies. Many homeschool moms do not get excited about the idea of gatherings. Some of us become stricken with panic or anxiety at the thought of another party, assembly, or even a park playdate.
It can feel like you are back in high school. Cliques exist even in Christian homeschool circles. But I have good news for you!
You were not meant to fit in. You were uniquely created to be you. Embrace it.
To All of the Homeschool Moms Who are Not Fitting In
Are you are desperately seeking your tribe to no avail?
One common theme among all homeschool moms is the desire to belong. Some more than others, but we all want to belong and be accepted one way or another. Some of us hide the need better than others, some of us are natural friend magnets, and making connections comes easily.
It may feel like we are desperately seeking our homeschool tribe, but it’s possible that our inner talk is working against us.
And for any of us, that have struggled with past rejections and anxiety of any kind trying to “fit in” can bring up things we haven’t adequately dealt with or resolved.
Memories and situations such as divorces, or our parent left home as a child. Maybe you were scarred with rejection from a friend growing up. You might have suffered verbal or physical abuse, all sorts of situations can imprint on who we are growing up.
It can be challenging to interact with others healthily if you don’t know what that should look like.
Our inner talk to and about ourselves can already be negative, and Satan will use that against us. He will try to play on all of your social weaknesses or even make you believe you have social weaknesses when it’s possible those exact “weaknesses” are what makes you unique.
Those past rejections and harmful self talk can play over in our heads and hurt our opportunities to make connections with others. It can be a struggle; it can be hard work for us and at times exhausting. To win the battle, we may need some tools to learn how to overcome these rejecting thoughts and scars so that we can start to make solid connections rooted in Christ. With ease.
I have personal experience with this struggle, and I want to encourage you if you can identify with anything I am saying.
I never felt like I fit in. I always felt awkward in social situations. I feel like I am different from most people that I meet. It takes a long time for me to trust you and share even general information about myself. I am not the type to push my way into the cool crowd, and I don’t have an inner desire to make you like me. It’s not that I don’t care, but I am not going to work hard at making you like me. I feel like that will happen organically, or not.
I prefer one quality relationship over a dozen fake ones any day.
I also love to encourage others. When I spot an underdog in the crowd or a fellow awkward homeschool mom, I will go out of my way to try to make you feel comfortable. Because I know what it feels like to be uncomfortable in a social setting. I would rather spend my time building others up, that fills my friendship tank.
When I let go of worrying about what others thought of me and accepted that God created me to be uniquely me…everything shifted. I no longer had that cloud of anxiety hovering over me constantly. I don’t need man to accept me or approve of me. I am already loved and accepted, that is a freeing thought.
We can be our worst enemy at times with the things we assume or tell ourselves. It can be so tricky to navigate when we weren’t necessarily “taught” how to “be social.” But it is our responsibility as moms to make sure our children have the best possible role models and tools to learn how to make solid connections rooted in Christ. This world will be harsh enough to them without those tools and teachings, if we can ease the journey at all, we should.
God wants us to connect in community with others, making friendships and doing life together. But if you are like me, you might need some extra help and prayer in that area. God has grown me into someone I never thought possible. I still deal with anxiety occasionally, but I am not living in bondage as I had before. Learning how to overcome my own mind has been priceless, and God says we can!
Here are a few of my favorite verses that give us the truth to set us free from the stronghold that may be afflicting you too.
Romans 8:28 NIV
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:31 NIV
What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?
Psalm 34:17-20 ESV
When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken.
2 Timothy 1:7 ESV
For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.
Psalm 139:13-14 NIV
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
Tell Yourself – You are the daughter of the King! It helps to speak God’s truths to ourselves to counteract the lies of rejection in our heads.
Take a step today to heal.
A few years back I finished up Lysa TerKeurst’s Uninvited Book & 6-week bible study. I highly recommend this study. She shares with you like a friend and addresses the root cause of your hurts. You will be amazed at how many facets of your life that your past rejections can affect.
Do this study alone, or with friends. I promise God doesn’t require you to go sign up for a large group study; he wants to see you pressing forward in the word. I say this because I know this can be a personal journey for some. But if you prefer to do it with others then grab your family or close friends and meet weekly to make this journey together. It will be worth it!
There is a book, a study guide, and the DVD – all of which are not necessary but I did all of them together. I think you could benefit from all the resources combined. Starting here you can lay some excellent groundwork to begin to beat past rejections and anxiety.
For you homeschool moms that feel like you don’t fit in:
You shouldn’t fit in. Be encouraged that you are unique and we should celebrate who you are. Don’t try to be someone else to be accepted. If you don’t fit in with that group of homeschool moms, then they aren’t your people.
It is better to have one sweet friend who accepts you for all of who you are then a group of women you have to work overtime to connect with. Pray that God sends you the right friend(s) in his timing.
Don’t be discouraged if you don’t hit it off with all of the moms in your homeschool group. You may have to try to plug in a few places before you find the right fit.
Today I pray for you if you read this post and identify in any way with social anxiety or any past rejections that are affecting you today. I pray for you to know that YOU are the daughter of the King! I am praying for you to take a step in the right direction and begin to learn how to overcome the lies that Satan tells you. God HAS given you the power to win. In Jesus name, Amen!